Smiling on Offense

Thoughts continued. June 20th - 21st 2007

At my temporary home in the squat.

I went to a potluck with many members from the Anti-Racism Working Group tonight. I was waiting for a break in the torrential downpour and then rode to the address listed in a steady downpour. On the way I picked up 3 more bags of Zap’s chips and a box of plastic garbage bags. I donned my first garbage bag rain suit in years. It also doubles as a California Raisin costume that covers both myself and my backpack.
At the potluck there were beans, rice and very spicy and salty crayfish. It seemed like black and or red beans to go with the rice, but it was dark in the kitchen and I couldn’t tell the difference

We had introductions and paired off to think about what “accountability” means in our different activities and as outsiders here in New Orleans.
For me that means looking at my assumptions and initial thoughts about working class Black folks and also being very clear on why I'm here. People are genuinely friendly and I appreciate that. Figuring out where my fear comes from is a great opportunity on this trip. There's so much junk in my brain. A high water mark from a racist tide of misinformation that has to be reconciled, one piece of misinformation at at a time. I have a racially mixed heritage and that means that sometimes I pass and sometimes strange stuff is said or done in my direction. We all get the hurricane though. The were other great conversations and threads of thought at the potluck. Some things that I took away from the evening were:

In my mind the debate around public safety usually gets framed as either having unsafe streets or more police. I watched that happen last year in the Excelsior District of San Francisco after a surge in youth violence. There are other options that we don’t think about that exist between nothing and more militarism. On the way home I saw my first Humvee out front of our place, just as we were arriving home. I was friendly and cooperative, smiling like an idiot to the 18 year olds with guns looking somewhere for a college degree, opportunity or job training. They had guns.

When I was in Eugene, Oregon I used to compulsively smile at people. One day I found myself doing it while I was in the worst mood and late somewhere. The contradiction of it felt awful. What was worst was that my face was doing something beyond my conscious control. A few days ago in Austin I rode past some houseless folks under a tree partying and they were superfriendly. I mean spooky friendly, like it was an offense tactic in a football game. "Break right, be friendly (through them off) and sneak on past, to the 20, the 10 and Touchdown!" I knew they were up to something. I was on offense with the compliant smile to the Military Police, just like back on the river bike path in Eugene, OR. Compliance worked for me this time.

I hear a lot about the police in this town. The unanimous consensus is to avoid them. I heard that there was a midnight capture the flag game going in a public square and that someone ran past a police officer and then was tackled and taken to jail. Running is against the law here. It's called disturbing the peace. I asked if it was a white or black person and had to laugh at myself. Who else would be out in the middle of this city at night thinking that they could play sports at midnight and not be hassled. Of course they were white. It's not anyone is going to put on a midnight Arab or Black rugby league tournament in a public square or near a city or government office anytime soon. That being said, I do sincerely hope that 20 something clean cut middle class white male gets out of the jail soon.


I have this image in my mind of dancing and partying New Orleaneans who really know how to have fun, especially after sunset. I have news for you folks, they're not really so good at having fun. It really about the mosquitoes here. Really it is.


More photos to follow.

Ingat Ka,
Take Care/Go Carefully - in Tagalog/Filipino

Jason