For the last part of my trip I went to visit my family in Laguna Province. It's was difficult. They were helpful in many way, in some other ways not so much. One of my relatives and her husband were intensely interested in trying to shame me for not being married at my age, then using deep Tagalog words to highlight my lack of understanding, then following that up with a declaration that it was such a shame that I was trying to learn Tagalog, but that I would never really be able to grasp it like a native speaker. It was one of those things that is so petty and irritating that you don't figure out how many things are messed up about the situation till after it's over. I replied to her that by that reasoning there was really no point in learning anything new and people just shouldn't bother trying. I didn't say much to her afterwards and eventually she left. I figured it was just a matter of privilage being reversed, and now having the upper hand over the privileged American she just couldn't contain her desire to put me in my place. This woman is a teacher also. It's pretty obvious how effective she is or at least the system she represents. That's not to say that it's worst than it is here in the US. More so I'm saying that it was messed up and I'm happy to wish them a good life from afar for all time.
The rest of my family helped me with trying to get to the cemetery and the grave of my great grandmother and other family members. My grandfather here in the US probably won't be able to visit his mother's grave before he leaves this world and I wanted to visit symbolically for him.
My other cousin during this time told me that the water was fine and commanded that I drink it. Her family that visits from far away never had any problems so she concluded that the deep well water was fine. I asked her if she was sure and she was. I made a huge mistake and trusted here. Really I should have taken the extra effort to defy her and buy my own water.
The next day the fever and aches began. I went to bed early and mostly didn't sleep all night. I didn't know what was going on, till I realized that my body was reacting to a systemic infection. I thought maybe it was Malaria, I thought a lot of things in my delirium. Then next day I told them I had a fever and my Aunt just tapped my forehead with her palm and said I didn't. My cousin who told me to drink the water told me I was just upset. I found that funny. I know what happens when I get upset and it looks a little different. It's true that I was very uncomfortable there. I lacked an appreciation for the food and I was far outside of what was normally used to. True, I had gotten the hang of using the tabo instead of toilet paper, but there was just something about the place my grandfather came from that sours me in my bones. I don't really know, but maybe it's just the amoeba. They gave me a couple pills, one for headache and 2 for upset stomach and I got on the jeepney and the bus. I bought some water. The bus ride was long, but the kung fu movie they showed made my day. Then the bus broke down. We waited for another. Then I was stuck sitting in the isle for another hour till I got to Manila. I took a taxi and got back to Ipat's house. They took one look at me a took my to the hospital. I had a 104 fever and some loose bowels. 3 hours later, one IV of dextrose, 2 blood tests and another sample later I had my 4 meds and was on my way back to Ipat's and recovery. I had one day to rest before the 22 hour journey back to the US. I sent my family in Laguna the news that I was recovering and suddenly they were worried about me. My cousin expressed concern and also blame at the same time. I just wasn't use to the water. Yes, I think that was a given.
People in positions of relative power not being accountable for their actions was a common experience in the Philippines for me this summer. I bet if the Catholic Church and the colonial powers had been able to say- hey, I'm wrong, sorry, my bad... then I think some people here might have an easier time being accountable to others. There is a legacy of a lack of accountability here, however I do have faith in the power of a positive example. As long as it starts somewhere, eventually it will grow.
Jason
